How Not To Be A Supermodel

It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever guide, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is obtainable for pre-order! Here!

An precise guide that it is possible for you to to carry in your arms. Or, for those who want my dulcet tones, take heed to together with your ears. You’ve liked my revealing life updates, through the years, and also you’ve diligently learn by my farcical tales of woe (keep in mind after I nearly by accident penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the best way again to 2001, after I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my regulation diploma to change into an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.

You would name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my recollections and the experiences I had as a style mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very severe. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my guide within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.

And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embody a narrative about by accident occurring a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir usually have a chapter known as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle by my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Sporting Knickers? No it might not.

So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set previously, however don’t make the error of considering that any painful soul-searching went into this guide. Let’s not get the mistaken finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it obtained to the insufferable bits: this can be a rip-roaring riot of a journey by a decade of the inconceivable situations and stunning occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and ceaselessly ridiculous.

Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel

OK, there are poignant moments. In fact there are. Actually I used to be particularly informed, after I obtained the guide deal, that I needed to embody the bits that might create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently changing into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or nearly falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the tough bits in addition to the entire elements that can probably have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.

However principally this can be a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods by which I did not change into a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my persona defects and my spectacular means to draw chaos and catastrophe in nearly any state of affairs.

You may pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I believe it’s a reasonably protected guess that you simply’ll adore it. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so for those who solely ever click on on one hyperlink I put up then please make it this one. I’ll be endlessly in your debt.

Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel here

I’ll be again with extra posts in regards to the guide and in regards to the strategy of writing it as a result of it has actually been the perfect, most satisfying factor I’ve ever finished in my grownup life. In the event you’ve adopted me for some time then you definately’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really completely satisfied accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve a superb and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a guide deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.